Example Story

Fluffy has long soft hair and she is my pet werewolf. Yes, all right, you were bound to laugh. Werewolves are fierce. They're people who change into wolves and back into people. They eat other people. They're thoroughly nasty. So, you're wondering, how can you have one called Fluffy? Fang, yes. Rip-throat, fine. Bloodlapper, fair enough. But Fluffy?

The truth is, Fluffy is the world's greatest wimp. The other day, a leaf blew into the house. Fluffy hid behind the settee. If a cat walks through the garden, she shakes. One day, there was a picture of a snake on telly. That night, Fluffy had to sleep at the end of my bed, she was so terrified. It's embarrassing really. Of course, I don't tell people she's a werewolf, I say she's an Alsation with problems. And how! Well, I guess you are wondering what kind of a person would have a pet werewolf. I often ask myself that very question.

My name is Collin but my friends like to call me Crazy Collin. Mmm, I'm sure you will soon realise why!. I have puffy, curly, red hair, with matching bushy eyebrows. I suppose you would also like to know what I enjoy munching on...goodness, you are nosey! Pea and honey mash...need I say more? I guess you are not too interested about all this really and only have one question buzzing round in your heads...why Fluffy?

It all began two years ago now, when I decided it would be wicked to become the youngest wizard in the Guinness book of World Records to change show-off Shaq (the school's number one pain in the neck) into a curly-tailed, snorting pig. I had it all planned out. Lunch time in the dinner hall, packed with children tucking in to baked beans and chips. How perfectly embarrassing would that be? Anyway, just to tell you that things didn't quite work out as I had planned.

At this stage, I'd better explain about my wizard's staff. My Grandad was THE Great Godzilola, the only wizard to have turned an entire town's people into bats because they were so rude to him and forever showing off. I can't stand people like that, can you? I looked across the room at Shaq. Bats were too good for him. Yes, it had to be the pig. I imagined him snuffling on the floor seeking other peoples' dropped beans and foot-squashed chips.

I had a clear sight of him. (You have to be careful about things like that.) I raised the wand, aimed it at him, said the right spell, and ... nothing happened! My Grandad's wizard's staff was very special. It had been passed down through the ages since the great Shmir and by the time it reached me, a lot of the polish had worn off. But it was still a first-rate wand, the Stradivarius of wands (so they fetch a fortune in auctions). I guessed what it was immediately. In the past, they relied on solar power to charge up the oscilator chamber but I'd had it modernized to take six 1.5 v D batteries. After it was first modified, I'd tried it on a spider I was trying to change into a hamster. When it failed me, I shook it. Well, that spell worked, after a fashion. Our garden's got the only slug which tries to spin webs. Loose connection. A quick shake, that's all it needs, I thought.

I shook it, aiming it at the floor for safety. I hadn't said the magic words so it couldn't be too dangerous. I must have hit Dev's lunch box, because it suddenly sprouted legs, walked a few paces, turned on its back, spilled out an apple core, and slumped back to the floor, its normal self, right in front of Mrs. Baxter, everyone's favourite dinner lady - though I didn't realise at the time what was going to happen. Shaq was just dropping a piece of sausage into some poor infant's water beaker. I aimed the staff again, holding it under my arm so no-one could see what it was, said the magic words and as I was sneaking towards Shaq, he very cleverly managed to take a big juicy step into the pile of squashed bananas and chips which lay in a mush on the floor...well done me!

Well, as you can imagine, it sent me flying right across the dinner hall and as for the staff, well, wait for it...it only landed on Mrs Baxter's blue hair net...a very trendy accessory, I thought. Ok, now seriously, it was the most bizzarre sight I had ever seen in my life. Actually, it was evey wizard's nightmare. She began to itch, and looked like she was feeling a bit queezy...she even started to resemble the lumpy gravy colour that our meat was swimming around in.

In a state of shock, she made a run for the ladies' toilets only, in her state of shock, never realised that she had actually entered that dungeon of strange noises and peculiar smells which were the boy's toilets. Oh, I could feel it now. What a pickle I had got myself into. I could only pray that it wasn't going to be another target card job again. I crept into the toilets to see if Mrs Baxter needed a helping hand. After all I had been the one who had made the poor dear go barking mad.

I could hardly believe what I was seeing emerging from the bottom of the dreaded third cubicle with the blocked toilet and the soggy, wet tissue on the chain which had, over the year, developed a green fungus on it. I froze in shock and suddenly feared that the furry, grey tail actually belonged to the new Mrs Baxter. "Mrs Baxter...do you need a hand in there? I've heard that that cubicle you are in is amongst the UK's top 10 worst school toilets." Then I heard a silent howling sound coming from within. "With your finger spell out the word "smelly" on the door and you will be able to get out".

The next thing I heard was the screeching sound of claws, scratching out the key word on the metal door. The door creaked open. Fangs,lots of fur, long, sharp claws, blue gleaming eyes, a red tongue, big earings, pink hairclips... and... wait for it...pointed ears, peeping through the ripped hair net. Our eyes met. Mrs Baxter looked rather puzzled. She made her way towards the door. Just when she was about to turn the door handle somebody did it for her. Shaq was now faced with the most scary creature he had ever seen in his entire show-off life. "Feel like showing of now Shaq?" At that very moment, I realised what I had to do. Brilliant! And what a revenge on Shaq, too.

"Go to my house," I whispered to Mrs. Baxter. "I'll sort it out later."

Shaq was huddled in a corner next to the urinals and whimpering. "You can stop that," I said, "This is actually all your fault. But if you do exactly as I tell you, I promise you'll feel prouder than you've ever done before, and people will admire you everywhere you go."

Shaq brightened up visibly. "Yes but, you always call me a show off."

"Yes," I sighed, "And I realise now that I've got you all wrong." I crossed my fingers behind my back because of the enormous lie. "You are a very talented person, and it's only right that someone with all your talent should show off." I crossed my fingers more firmly than ever. "And I'm going to help you."

"Yes but the were wolf," he pointed to where Mrs. Baxter had been moments before. "What's that doing here? And why is it wearing a blue hair net and pink rollers like Mrs. Baxter ...?"

"Pure chance," I said. "A bit of a joke at Mrs. B's expense and nothing to worry about. The animal's my pet," I said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "And she's not a werewolf, just a dog with problems, as the hairnet and rollers prove."

I rammed my foot against the door in case anyone else tried to enter the Chambers of Death By A Thousand Pongs. I didn't want another accident.

"Now keep absolutely still, and trust me," I said, holding up the wand. The fingers on the other hand were still crossed behind my back.

"Yes but..." he started to say. And then it was done. The wand had worked perfectly.

No-one's seen Shaq since. Well, only me, because I know the truth. We're the only school with a (fairly) tame peacock. It's very beautiful, and it knows it. It displays its feathers at every opportunity. One day it might notice that some of the feathers look remarkably like a blue hairnet and pink rollers. Shaq - I mean Shah the peacock - and I get on better now, but it is a bit of a nuisance sitting next to a peacock that insists on being in the classroom and tries to raise a wing to answer questions. Shah has an unusual cry, too. It sounds like, "Yesbut, yesbut."

Fluffy? I haven't solved that one. But she's brilliant at looking after little kids. If you ever need a baby sitter ...